Some people are naturally confident, while others need to develop their confidence. If you're around little kids, you can see naturally confident ones.
What happens if you hit your adult years and notice that your confidence is lacking?
Does that mean we're shit out of luck?
No it doesn't. The most amazing thing is we can learn how to be confident. It's not easy, but it is possible and 100% worth every step that you take because not only is it going to open you up to be able to want to try new things, building confidence will improve your life.
Confident people are:
More likely to accomplish their goals
Have stronger relationships
Enjoy life more
10 Tips to Help Boost Your Confidence
#1 When you look good, you feel good
Take time to find the clothes that make you feel good. Even when you are working from home you should take a shower, get dressed in an outfit that makes you feel good, and do your hair and makeup. Whatever you need to do to say, "I feel good!"
Let go of negative self-talk. We all have something about our bodies that we wish we could change.
You know the drill, you get up in the morning, you stand in front of the mirror, and it starts. "Oh, I don't like my thighs." "Why is my skin so wrinkled?" Whatever it is, change the mindset to where you get in front of the mirror, and you're like, "Huh, I have pretty blue eyes. My legs are looking really good today."
Changing your internal self-talk is going to take time. You will have to force yourself to stop mid-sentence, maybe even fake it until you make it. One day you will notice that your negative self-talk is not so loud, that your internal positive compliments come easier.
My Story When I was growing up, I had the nickname "No Chin Sabline". I have a very weak jawline. I did not feel good about my appearance. I constantly felt ugly and unworthy because of my jawline.
I share that with you because of what I had to accomplish to overcome this internal dialog. I realized that my jawline is just one aspect of who I am as a person, and my weak jawline does not make me any lesser of a mother, a partner, a leader, or a business owner.
I had to accept that this was just a trait, something unique about who I was. I spent time trying to figure out other aspects that I loved about myself. I am still insecure about my jawline, but I no longer allow it to define me.
#2 Let Go Of Negative Talk.
You know that voice in your head that tells you all those hurtful, awful things? Maybe you tried something new and you failed. The voice is in there calling you a loser, a failure and whatever else that it wants to talk to you about. You need to put that little bitch in her place and tell her to STOP.
Yes, I am cursing because at this point, ladies and gentlemen, you need to kick this hurtful habit to the curb. If you wouldn't say it to your best friend, if you wouldn't say it to your child, why the heck are you saying it to yourself? You are better than that.
What Works for Me When I notice I am nasty to myself I have to stop, breathe and picture what my best friend would tell me at that moment. Better yet, what would I tell my best friend if she was the one to have had the experience?
#3 Fearlessly Authentic
Building your confidence is knowing exactly who you are, what you stand for, and your values. What are your priorities in life? What are your goals? 100 years from now, when everyone is saying their goodbyes to you, what are they saying about you? What have you accomplished?
Knowing that and setting up to have your daily life live with intention and purpose will build your confidence when you have to say no to someone that is not aligning with your goals, values, or priorities.
#4 Surround Yourself with People Who Love You
Surround yourself with good healthy relationships that boost your confidence and make you feel loved. We kicked that negative voice in our head to the curb. Now it's time to do the same with people who treat us poorly.
#5 Set Small Goals
These could be healthy habits or small steps to your bigger goal. Whatever you decide to do, you are looking to build up your confidence by achieving your goals. Heck, maybe your goal is to finish that blog post (Instant Win)! When you accomplish those small goals, guess what? You're building your confidence.
#6 Helping Others
This could be volunteering, doing something nice for your neighbor, doing something nice for your parents, your friends, your siblings without asking for anything in return. Why? Because it's going make you feel good. And when you feel good, you raise your confidence.
#7 Let it Go
If you're holding on to stuff that does not bring you joy, get rid of it. This can take time. That is okay. Permit yourself to go at a pace that you are comfortable with. When you feel the benefits, you will want to keep going. You will find that you are:
Saving time cleaning or looking for items
Surrounded by things that you love
Start small. Start with a drawer, a closet, one room. Whatever you feel capable of, but start clearing that crap away.
#8 Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
You are beautifully, authentically, uniquely you. There's no one else out there like you, so you know what? I don't care if your neighbor was able to buy a new car. Good for them! Be happy for that neighbor. Remind yourself that you have different goals and priorities and that you are on your own path.
Don't get sucked into the social media comparison trap. If you're finding yourself feeling down about yourself when scrolling, it is A-okay to take a break from social media. If you're finding that it's bringing you more jealousy, anger and sadness than it is joy, take some much-needed time off from it.
Healthy boundaries set in place mean you're doing things for people out of love and compassion and not out of anger and resentment. Knowing your values, priorities, and goals makes setting boundaries easier. Loving yourself and knowing that you do not have to please others to make them happpy will also help you set up healthy, loving boundaries.
#10 Practicing Self-Love
Knowing what filled me up, learning to depend on myself to bring myself joy and love, and not looking for it from outside people was huge. Self-love will not only build up your worth but allow you to avoid burnout, helping you achieve more.
These are a few tips. Take what works for you and leave the rest. Remember that you are 100% worth it. Taking the time to build your confidence will allow you to live a happier life, be more loving to those around you and achieve more.
Be Brave, Stay Curious & Keep Trying