Do the people in your life effect your happiness?
The answer is 100% yes. We have relationships with people all around us. A healthy relationship can improve your confidence and self-worth. A toxic relationship can make you second guess yourself, lower your self-esteem and increase your anxiety.
We talk a lot about how happiness comes from within; that you cannot depend on others to make you happy. However, an unhealthy relationship can stunt your personal growth. Learning what a healthy relationship looks like and understanding the different stages your relationship is in is the foundation to building strong, lasting bonds with those around you.
7 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
Think of relationships like a bank account, peoples actions make deposits in and out. This system has allowed for life’s imperfections and mistakes that are bound to come.
1. You are honest with each other.
Are you able to have a difference of opinion, have hard conversations and be fearlessly authentic with another person, and trust that they will still love you?
2. You respect each other.
Being able to have boundaries, opinions, and needs met is a sign of a healthy relationship. No one deserves to be told that what they’re feeling is wrong and their needs are not important.
3. You see each other and understand what they need (love language).
We all deserve to be loved, we all give and receive love differently. Dr. Chapman signifies that there are 5 love languages and we each have a primary love language. Taking the time to figure out what your love language is, and those closest to you will allow you to be able to fill up their love bank. When love banks are filled, we feel seen, heard, and understood.
4. There is balance.
Life is all about balance. When a relationship is one-sided, when only one person gives, it is not a healthy relationship. A relationship is balanced between both parties giving and receiving.
5. You trust each other.
Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Trusting that someone will hold your secret and they will be there to support you in the good and bad times. Trust that they love you unconditionally, even when you disagree.
6. You let things go.
Relationships are messy, no one is perfect. Sometimes we need to learn to forgive, to let go of the past and focus on the future. Letting go is the healing process of relieving anger and resentment. It is not permitted to allow others to continue to hurt you.
7. You support each other’s goals.
This is one of the best gifts that you can give someone. That you show up, you listen, you buy. That you find a way to help those close to you and support them on their journey.
Relationships Are the Key to Happiness:
5 Stages of a Healthy Relationship
Here is an easy exercise to determine what stage your relationships are in.
1. Write down everyone in your life.
2. Stage One | In the middle of the page, write your name and put a circle around it. Who is in that circle with you? Your spouse? Your God? Your dog? There is where your heart lies.
Stage One relationship is your soul mate
Committed to developing each other’s character
Built on honesty and trust
3. Draw a second circle – list 1-3 friends who you can trust to be there for you through the good and the bad, who would NEVER tell your secrets or talk behind your back.
Stage Two relationship would be considered your Tribe
Share common values and priorities
Built on trust
4. Draw the third circle – these are for the friends and family who you enjoy being around and have common goals or priorities. You have started to build a relationship with them but have not given them your whole self yet.
Stage Three Relationship is Friendship
See each other more frequently than acquaintances
5. Draw the fourth circle – This is where neighbors and acquaintances live.
Stage Four is Acquaintances
See each other occasionally
Talk about basic topics
People can move from circle to circle as they build on a relationship. It is important to remember that as people get closer to you and your heart that the relationships are healthy, if they are not the relationship will only pull you down.
6. Draw a Fifth Circle 5th circle off to the side.
Stage Five is for Toxic Relationships
This is for people in my life that may be “toxic” but I cannot cut ties from it. I know to handle these relationships with care and to protect myself.
Learning how to love yourself and have a healthy relationship with yourself is the foundation to having a healthy relationship with those around you.
Learning what a healthy relationship looks and feels like will allow you to add in healthier relationships to your life which will build up your self-esteem. This will also allow you to distance yourself from toxic people who are pulling you down.
Be Brave, Stay Curious & Love yourself
YOU ARE WORTH IT
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