How to Recognize and Avoid Toxic People in Your Life

Updated: Feb 26, 2021

A healthy relationship can bring you so much joy and happiness, but it's important that you know how to wholeheartedly love yourself. In the month of February, it's all about love, which means you're going to see it everywhere. You're going to see the flowers, the candy, and the commercials. This can either be a really blissful or a very painful time, depending on where you are in your relationship. There are many of us who are dealing with toxic relationships or you're single because you just got out of a toxic relationship, and it can be painful. I want to help you understand how to identify if you're in a toxic relationship, or if a person that you're around is toxic.

There are 7 signs that you're dealing with a toxic person.

I'm going to break it up into two areas that I find really valuable. When you're with a toxic person, they may gaslight you and tell you that what you're feeling and thinking is wrong because it does not align with what they want to get out of the relationship.

What does that do? It makes you second guess yourself.

Internal Signs Your Dealing Toxic People

Trust yourself, dear reader, it's easy to make excuses for others behavior (been there, done that). Remember that you're feelings matter.

Sign One | Walking Away Questioning Yourself

Do you away from an encounter with someone questioning yourself? We all have this experience where there is a misunderstanding. What I'm talking about is continuous miscommunications / questioning yourself:

Here are common phrases a toxic person will use

  • "I never said that."

  • "That is not what I meant"

  • "You are not listening"

  • "That never happened"

You question yourself so often that you have considered recording your conversations. This can feel a lot like gaslighting, and I know I personally spent years working on my communication, believing that it was truly my fault.

Sign Two | Feeling Unheard & Seen.

Toxic people are notorious for making you feel like the center of their world; they buy you expensive gifts, plan lavish trips and outings. But then something changes.

  • Phones calls stop getting returned

  • They come home later and later

  • They ignore you at parties

You may be questioning yourself, wondering if you said or did something wrong. It is painful and confusing when you feel ignored.

Sign Three | Feeling Drained

After spending time with a person, do walk away feeling drained or exhausted? This can be a sign that you are with a toxic person.

Sign Four | Feeling Like your Walking on Eggshells

You may be feeling drained when you spend time with a toxic person because you have to be careful of what you say or do. You don't know what type of mood are they going to be in that day. Are they going to need something from you? So they're going to be very happy and very engaged, or is it going to be the opposite where they're in a bad mood, so no matter what you say or how you say it, it's going to trigger their anger.

Five Characteristics That You Are Dealing With A Toxic Person

Sign Five | Better than Everyone else

  • No one lives up to their HIGH standards

  • Constantly gossiping about other people

  • Feel like they can do EVERYTHING better than others

  • Like to nitpick

  • Yell at customer service help

  • Need constant attention and validation

These are huge indicators that you are dealing with a toxic person.